Intersect This!
We get stuck on our identities. Are we Black first? Are we Deaf first? Are we LGBTQA first? Every aspect of Black Deaf LGBTQA person is riddled and dominated by racism (including classism), homoantagonism, audism, transmisogynoir, fat-antagonism, ableism and femme-antagonism. As our Black LGBTQA youth are without homes, it is never because they are just LGBTQA. It is ALL of their identities being dominated by all of us. As James Baldwin quoted: It is certain, in any case, that ignorance, allied with power, is the most ferocious enemy justice can have. Cishet people hold on to this dearly as Black Deaf LGBTQA continues to navigate the never-ending cycle violence.
Lena and Me by Christopher Smith
Video Descritption:
A stage with blue lights. A brown skinned man walks to the front with his walker. There is a a folding table at the front with various items. Christopher is wearing a purple sleeveless shirt and khaki pants and brown shoes. In the background is a slideshow, black background with white texts, "Lena & Me," in the middle. Above the texts, a golden crown-like shaped frame with a black and white picture of Lena Horne - a light-skinned Black actress and dancer. She posed as if she was surprised with her hands up near her face. Christopher then sits on his walker and begins his performance.
Video Transcript:
Ladies & Gentlemen, welcome to my one man show called: "LENA & ME". Also please welcome my walker, my bodyguard, my caregiver, and my lifesaver. I named my walker : MAHOGANY. MAHOGANY has been so good to me after I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. This is my 9th year living with Multiple Sclerosis and the show must goes on. MAHOGANY is one of my favorite colors and the title of my favorite movie of all time and of course, Diana Ross played Tracy in this movie. I love Diana!! Growing up being Black, Deaf, and Queer wasn't pleasant. Most of the times, I had to make a choice whether to keep on going or....I don't know, but one thing for sure is that I would not be here today if I didn't keep on going. Growing up I had to keep on seeking for my true self and what identities I bare. Lena & Me: Back in my childhood, when I was only 7 or 8, I saw on TV the most beautiful black lady, with the perfect shinning white teeth. She could almost could pass for white. Mom said, no, "she is Black". I was inspired and I hugged the black & white tv as if I wanted to hug Lena Horne!! Thank you, Lena!! She sang so beautifully. She was in an old movie, but I didn't know what the name of movie was or her song was until much later. Back in my days, I had no language to express freely. Chicago Public School system deprived me of my language. No Deaf identity. I didn't know why I was so deeply in love with her. Perhaps, I was in love with her beauty and dignity. She provided me something that the school system had not given me, Lena spoke a language I could understand Then one day out of blue, when I was in the bathroom, I stared at myself in the mirror for hours. Somehow in my imagination, there she was, Lena Horne. I took the liberty using my mom's earrings and her lipstick. And I cut out paper and transformed it into an old 1940's style microphone. I lip-synced with that microphone in my hand: "Don't know why there's no sun in the sky......STORMY WEATHER". Since my man and I ain't together. It keeps raining all the time, it keeps raining all the time. The song turned out to be "Stormy Weather", also the title of the movie where I first saw her. I'm not sure why I tried to impersonate her at such a young age, she was way before my time. Who knows? I was probably longing for a role model of my own. Somehow it felt as if Lena and I had chosen each other. She had to fight her way through the white Hollywood system before they accepted her. But there is something else that I wasn't too proud of it. I was ashamed of my feminine side. I've often wished that I could be a masculine jock like my dad and my brother Timmy. I tried to be so hard to be like them, so that bullies from school or my ghetto neighborhood wouldn't target me. That I couldn't bottle up my own "feminine demon" inside me. I'm like, "Damn, why was I born? Why me? Why can't I be normal like everyone else and not be noticed?" It was as if I was stuck in the spotlight 24/7. I had to get rid of my feminine and dumped in my backyard and continue to suffer staying masculine. I eagerly wanted to be like my dad & my brother, Timmy and i I wanted them to be proud of me. But it kills me badly inside and I had to stop...(pause). Daddy and Timmy, I love you both too much and please, let me go??!! I wanted to be free. I have to find my own feminine in the backyard and bring it back it back inside of me. Just like Dorothy from the Wiz is finally HOME. Yet, often I would Imagined myself dancing onstage, thugs and football players in the audience were ready to throw tomatoes at me. That didn't stop me. I was still here, just like Rosa Parks, who refused to give up her colored section seat for white folks. And I have my Lena to thank for teaching me how to be proud myself as I am: Deaf, Black, and Queer. Ladies & Gentlemen, thank you so much for coming!! I wanted to take bit moment with LENA
Stormy weather lyrics: Don't know why
There's no sun up in the sky
Stormy weather
Since my man and I ain't together
Keeps raining all of the time
Oh, yeah
Life is bad
Gloom and misery everywhere
Stormy weather, stormy weather
And I just can get my poor self together
Oh, I'm weary all of the time
The time, so weary all of the time
When he went away
The blues walked in and met me
Oh, yeah if he stays away
Old rocking chair's gonna get me
All I do is pray
The Lord will let me
Walk in the sun once more
Oh, I can't go on, can't go on, can't go on
Everything I have is gone
Stormy weather, stormy weather
Since my man and I, me and my daddy ain't together
Keeps raining all of the time
Oh, oh, keeps raining all of the time
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah raining all of the time
Stormy stormy
Stormy weather
Yeah
Out Here On My Own Lyrics: Sometimes I wonder where I've been,
Who I am,
Do I fit in.
Make believein' is hard alone,
Out here on my own.
We're always provin' who we are,
Always reachin'
For that risin' star
To guide me far
And shine me home,
Out here on my own.
When I'm down and feelin' blue,
I close my eyes so I can be with you.
Oh, baby be strong for me;
Baby belong to me.
Help me through.
Help me need you.
Until the morning sun appears
Making light
Of all my fears,
I dry the tears
I've never shown,
Out here on my own.
But when I'm down and feelin' blue,
I close my eyes so I can be with you.
Oh, baby be strong for me;
Baby, belong to me.
Help me through.
Help me need you.
Sometimes I wonder where I've been,
Who I am,
Do I fit in.
I may not win,
But I can't be thrown,
Out here on my own,
Out here on my own.